2nd July 2009
'Peter Pan of Pop' Cliff Richard dead
The 'Peter Pan of Pop', Sir Cliff Richard, has been found dead from a suspected testicular explosion.
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Britain's export of baddies plunges
Britain's export of actors and actresses to play villains in Hollywood films has hit new lows, the National Audit Office's (NAO's) latest report claims.
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Parents smug over skinny jeans
Parents across the country are already feeling smug about skinny jeans, a new survey has found.
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Media to proles - 'you've had your chance'
Representatives of Britain's major newspaper, television and radio news outlets have announced that the working classes that they "had their chance and blew it".
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McCartney wins custody of nine countries
Sir Paul McCartney has been awarded custody by the High Court of the nine countries that his estranged wife was responsible for.
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IOC: China taking Olympics far too seriously
China is taking the hosting of the 2008 Olympic Games "far too seriously", the International Olympics Committee (IOC) has announced.
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General-Director stages coup at BBC
The BBC's General-Director has staged a coup that has seen him depose the board of directors and instigate "direct programming".
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UK artists' positions outsourced to Asia
Britain's arts councils are to outsource most artists' roles to Asia in a move described as "inevitable in today's global market".
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Africans 'dangerously low in Christmas time knowledge'
Africans' knowledge of when it is Christmas time at all is slipping compared with Westerners', a new survey has found.
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Craig David in danger of fading away
Former popstar Craig David is in danger of fading away unless his name is repeated continuously over the airwaves, doctors have warned.
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Fictional person killed by horse
The literary and film worlds are in shock and mourning following the death of a character by a horse in a work of fiction.
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Brown urges Brits to unite for rugby final
Gordon Brown has urged Britons to put their sporting rivalries aside and come together in support for the common side in the rugby World Cup final.
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Middleton dumped as mum 'too common'
Kate Middleton was dumped by Prince William because her mum was far too common, InnitNews.co.uk can exclusively reveal.
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Shakira's hips in perjury investigation
Hips belonging to the popular Colombian singer Shakira are to face trial for perjury after it was revealed that they lied to the court.
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Pop Idol looted
The Pop Idol has been looted by a dashing archaeologist, provoking the grunting anger amid its worshipers.
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Oxygen of publicity machine switched off on Chantelle and Preston
Publicists have switched off the oxygen of publicity machine that had been sustaining "celebrity" Big Brother couple Chantelle and Preston for the past year.
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Supermarkets unveil no-frills Premiership range
Tesco, Asda and Sainsbury's have all unveiled their cut-price versions of Premiership teams, saying that "for too long consumers have been paying over the odds for overpriced goods".
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Robbie Williams to eat own placenta
Robbie Williams has vowed to eat his own placenta in order to curb his dependence on painkillers, sources have reported.
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Smug smile wiped off of Paris Hilton's face
Socialite PARIS HILTON has had her trademark smug smile wiped from her face.
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Mel Gibson's Lethal Vision 'in pipeline'
Lethal Vision, a collaboration between Mel Gibson and popular saviour Jesus H Christ, is to be the follow-up to Apocalypto and The Passion of the Christ, a source has claimed.
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