23rd April 2007
Middleton dumped as mum 'too common'
An upset Kate Middleton |
A source claiming to be close to the Royal Family said that rather than be too harsh on Miss Middleton's mother, reports were scaled back to prevent embarrassment.
"You may not believe it, but Mrs Middleton is as common as chips and William has had himself a lucky escape," the alleged insider said.
Although claiming that all staff were asked to keep quiet about the truth, our mole said that it was an open secret that both the Queen and Prince Charles regarded the Middletons are far too inferior to allow William to marry into.
"The first blooper came when Carole [Middleton] met the Queen for the first time," our Buck House betrayer said.
"Instead of saying 'How do you do', Carole said 'Alright there love'. The whole room was in shock and no one knew what to do.
"Of course, everyone was too polite to say anything straight away and we thought that with the deathly silence, she would have got the hint."
Posh
Yet as the good-breeding of the others around the Middletons try to take the remarks in their stride, the worst happens.
"Kate's mum then says 'Where's your crapper, it's not every day you meet the queen and I'm gagging for a piss'."
Thankfully, a quick thinking equerry led her away from Her Majesty, but the embarrassment was soon to continue: "When she [Carole Middleton] returned, she wouldn't stop telling everyone just how 'dead posh' it was, with gold taps and 'bide-t' and what-not."
A red-faced Kate led her mum home and the Palace thought that she would sort things out with her family to prevent a repeat.
Scary
Unfortunately it was not to be and a series of incidents would later see Carole:
Although sources are denying all these claims, Prince Phillip is said to have been left "most upset" at the break and loss of Mrs Middleton.
"You may not believe it, but Mrs Middleton is as common as chips and William has had himself a lucky escape," the alleged insider said.
Although claiming that all staff were asked to keep quiet about the truth, our mole said that it was an open secret that both the Queen and Prince Charles regarded the Middletons are far too inferior to allow William to marry into.
"The first blooper came when Carole [Middleton] met the Queen for the first time," our Buck House betrayer said.
"Instead of saying 'How do you do', Carole said 'Alright there love'. The whole room was in shock and no one knew what to do.
"Of course, everyone was too polite to say anything straight away and we thought that with the deathly silence, she would have got the hint."
Posh
Yet as the good-breeding of the others around the Middletons try to take the remarks in their stride, the worst happens.
"Kate's mum then says 'Where's your crapper, it's not every day you meet the queen and I'm gagging for a piss'."
Thankfully, a quick thinking equerry led her away from Her Majesty, but the embarrassment was soon to continue: "When she [Carole Middleton] returned, she wouldn't stop telling everyone just how 'dead posh' it was, with gold taps and 'bide-t' and what-not."
A red-faced Kate led her mum home and the Palace thought that she would sort things out with her family to prevent a repeat.
Scary
Unfortunately it was not to be and a series of incidents would later see Carole:
- Bring a pit bull over to see if it would mate with the Queen's corgis
- Sneakily eat a Gregg's pasty at an official state dinner as "she didn't have time for all this la-di-da stuff"
- Wear a Primark jacket at William's passing out parade at Sandhurst
- Suggest that the two families go together to Carole's brother's villa in Benidorm
- Propose that any wedding breakfast be held in her local. When told that there may be a large number of dignitaries, Mrs Middleton supposedly said that in which case they may go for the Working Mens Club instead.
Although sources are denying all these claims, Prince Phillip is said to have been left "most upset" at the break and loss of Mrs Middleton.
