29th April 2008
Parents smug over skinny jeans
Just one in a series of photos that will come back like chickens to roost |
In the Parental Poll, a whopping 85 per cent of parents said that skinny jeans "will make their kids dread showing pictures of themselves to their kids", and 95 per cent said that they felt "smug as a newt fancier" at the thought of this.
Flares
"I grew up having to put up with my kids laughing at pictures of myself in flares – and, later drainpipe trousers – and they still regard me as a 'fashion mistake'," said one respondent who wished to remain anonymous.
"But looking at the fucking fashion disaster that is skinny jeans, I'm already chuckling at the looks my son's going to get from his kids in a decade's time, assuming the jeans haven't done anything to affect his fertility."
Chaff
Disasters highlighted in the survey include girls with fat thighs and chubby bellies "laughably" trying to fit in to the trousers, girls wearing a size too small to give a "vomit inducing" muffin top effect, and any man at all in them.
The choice of colours and accompanying "puddle jumper" attire also made 63 per cent of parents recall their own fashion faux pas. A small minority of "well fit" girls escaped scorn, although it was generally conceded that these girls "would make a burqha look sexy".
Commenting on the survey, fashion guru the Guru Nashanpartalapinto of Nepal, said that "each decade has a fashion mistake of its own".
"Every ten years designers come up with something that is popular only briefly, yet consumes everyone like the fires from Vishnu, and is captured on film for future generations."
SAM
He added that as well as leading to cringe-inducing photos to show future offspring, those too closely associated with fashion mistake phenomena will forever become "a figure of jest and trapped in a fashion timewarp", such as the Bee Gees, Timmy Mallet and MC Hammer.
"Like the common cold, such mistakes are endemic and shall never be eliminated," added the guru predicating future errors.
Russell Brand is 32. And still a cunt.
Flares
"I grew up having to put up with my kids laughing at pictures of myself in flares – and, later drainpipe trousers – and they still regard me as a 'fashion mistake'," said one respondent who wished to remain anonymous.
"But looking at the fucking fashion disaster that is skinny jeans, I'm already chuckling at the looks my son's going to get from his kids in a decade's time, assuming the jeans haven't done anything to affect his fertility."
Chaff
Disasters highlighted in the survey include girls with fat thighs and chubby bellies "laughably" trying to fit in to the trousers, girls wearing a size too small to give a "vomit inducing" muffin top effect, and any man at all in them.
The choice of colours and accompanying "puddle jumper" attire also made 63 per cent of parents recall their own fashion faux pas. A small minority of "well fit" girls escaped scorn, although it was generally conceded that these girls "would make a burqha look sexy".
Commenting on the survey, fashion guru the Guru Nashanpartalapinto of Nepal, said that "each decade has a fashion mistake of its own".
"Every ten years designers come up with something that is popular only briefly, yet consumes everyone like the fires from Vishnu, and is captured on film for future generations."
SAM
He added that as well as leading to cringe-inducing photos to show future offspring, those too closely associated with fashion mistake phenomena will forever become "a figure of jest and trapped in a fashion timewarp", such as the Bee Gees, Timmy Mallet and MC Hammer.
"Like the common cold, such mistakes are endemic and shall never be eliminated," added the guru predicating future errors.
Russell Brand is 32. And still a cunt.
