21st June 2007

Prostitute given honour for services to industry

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A popular London call girl has been given an OBE in the Queen's birthday honours list for her services to industry.

Tabytha Lockzhart of Westminster, London, is said to have performed sex acts ranging for the unusual to the depraved on a string of blue-chip businessmen.

Commenting on her nomination, Miss Lockzhart said that she was "touched, licked and tickled pink" at receiving the order.

Serviced to the hilt

According to the official announcement, the 48-year-old courtesan has been highly recommended by City workers since 1980, when she moved to the capital from Cardiff. Establishing herself in a discreet location in the centre of the Square Mile within easy walking distance of some of the world's biggest financial firms, Ms Lockzhart name is well known at board level.

Buckingham Palace officials denied that Prince Philip avoided eye contact with the madame throughout the ceremony.

Iranians are now incensed, saying that coupled with the knighthood of fatwah-loving mediocre author Sir Salman Rushdie, this was "another blow off" to the Persian people.


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