19th December 2007
Protocols of the Youngsters of Cameron revealed
Cameron offering his evil protocols (artist's impression) |
According to unemployed former Pritt Stick tester, Burnard Buggins, David Cameron has formed a cabal whose one goal is "world domination".
World domination
"Whether it's staging catastrophes against one's own people, then claiming a moral high ground for leverage, curtailment of civil liberties with the excuse of defeating the enemies of peace, or by funding pornography, such as Asian Babes, you can bet your bottom pound that Cameron and his cronies are working on it," Mr Buggins exclusively told InnitNews.
"He also wants to change the drinking laws. He also wants to help a world government by working closer with the UN and EU.
Global sadism
"Finally," Mr Buggins said finally, "Cameron and his public school cronies are to start wars under false pretences and use these wars as an excuse to curtail civil liberties."
Despite these claims, a Tory spokesman initially stated that "yet again it was a case of tired Labour once more stealing sound Conservative policies yet again."
Happy ending, £5
However, after a call to party headquarters, the spokesman retracted his earlier statement and instead dismissed Mr Buggins as a "fantasist" and "mentallist" who was "clearly just rehashing the equally false Protocols of the Elders of Zion for dubious comic effect."
"Aye, well, they would say that," Mr Buggins retorted. "But I know I'm right. I just hope they don't send out some assassins, especially femme fatale types in tight leather catsuits, to pop me off by making love to me till I die of exhaustion," he concluded in a drooling state.
World domination
"Whether it's staging catastrophes against one's own people, then claiming a moral high ground for leverage, curtailment of civil liberties with the excuse of defeating the enemies of peace, or by funding pornography, such as Asian Babes, you can bet your bottom pound that Cameron and his cronies are working on it," Mr Buggins exclusively told InnitNews.
"He also wants to change the drinking laws. He also wants to help a world government by working closer with the UN and EU.
Global sadism
"Finally," Mr Buggins said finally, "Cameron and his public school cronies are to start wars under false pretences and use these wars as an excuse to curtail civil liberties."
Despite these claims, a Tory spokesman initially stated that "yet again it was a case of tired Labour once more stealing sound Conservative policies yet again."
Happy ending, £5
However, after a call to party headquarters, the spokesman retracted his earlier statement and instead dismissed Mr Buggins as a "fantasist" and "mentallist" who was "clearly just rehashing the equally false Protocols of the Elders of Zion for dubious comic effect."
"Aye, well, they would say that," Mr Buggins retorted. "But I know I'm right. I just hope they don't send out some assassins, especially femme fatale types in tight leather catsuits, to pop me off by making love to me till I die of exhaustion," he concluded in a drooling state.
