11th June 2007
Road to hell paved with bad intentions
A red faced Satan with reporters |
Launching an appeal to raise awareness about reckless operators, the Devil said that he himself had parted with a good part of his riches to a gang of labourers to tarmac the road to hell leading up to the infamous gate.
A clearly embarrassed Prince of the Damned said that he had been residing in his palace in Pandemonium when he was interrupted by an imp to inform him that a group of workmen were outside. The group allegedly told the devil that his good intentions were beginning to show cracks and that they need to be repaved.
They then added that were someone to fall and injure themselves on the road to hell, as owner, he would personally be held responsible, the Prince of Lies whispered unknowingly in the ears of reporters.
Duped
Fearing the worst, and adding that he did not normally deal with workmen but left it to Beelzebub, who was out on a holiday to the Middle East at the time, Lucifer handed over "most of what savings I had" to ensure the work started promptly.
However, within days of completion, deep cracks began to show and visitors complained of it sticking to their feet as they approached the River Styx.
Satan is now concerned that the cracks are even worse than before, while Beelzebub added that he believed that there probably no cracks in the first place.
Cracked
Urging other supernatural beings not to be taken in by unsolicited workmen, the Light Bringer said he doubted that the gang would be caught.
Claims that a group had been seen knocking on the Pearly Gates to inform the owner of that the crystal roofing on New Jerusalem needed reglazing are being investigated
A clearly embarrassed Prince of the Damned said that he had been residing in his palace in Pandemonium when he was interrupted by an imp to inform him that a group of workmen were outside. The group allegedly told the devil that his good intentions were beginning to show cracks and that they need to be repaved.
They then added that were someone to fall and injure themselves on the road to hell, as owner, he would personally be held responsible, the Prince of Lies whispered unknowingly in the ears of reporters.
Duped
Fearing the worst, and adding that he did not normally deal with workmen but left it to Beelzebub, who was out on a holiday to the Middle East at the time, Lucifer handed over "most of what savings I had" to ensure the work started promptly.
However, within days of completion, deep cracks began to show and visitors complained of it sticking to their feet as they approached the River Styx.
Satan is now concerned that the cracks are even worse than before, while Beelzebub added that he believed that there probably no cracks in the first place.
Cracked
Urging other supernatural beings not to be taken in by unsolicited workmen, the Light Bringer said he doubted that the gang would be caught.
Claims that a group had been seen knocking on the Pearly Gates to inform the owner of that the crystal roofing on New Jerusalem needed reglazing are being investigated
