1st March 2007
Tories to use hot air as campaign fuel
David Cameron announces the launch of his party's Hot Air campaign |
David Cameron, the party's leader, said that the Conservatives planned to use the renewable energy source "hot air" during its campaign to get more people to "vote blue and go green".
Hot air
"Hot air is a natural resource that can play an important part in reducing our dependence on oil, grease-proof or otherwise, and invasions of other nations," the former Eton fag said.
"For many years people have ignored hot air from politicians, but now we say it's time for voters to look at the Tories and they'll be able to see that not only do we have words, but have plenty of hot air to back up our new policies," he told a carefully managed press conference.
Cold water
Mr Cameron's shifting of the Conservative party onto environmental issues has marked a significant change in direction for the party after William Hague's "fuck Europe" election campaign.
However, Labour were quick to dismiss the latest shift as "yet another Labour policy stolen by the unimaginative Tories".
Long runs
John Prescott, took a break from no longer having an affair to say: "Ever since New Labour came to prominence in 1994 we have done nothing but promote hot air as a viable way to get a country running.
"Just look at our achievements - the Millennium Dome, integrated transport, an ethical foreign policy - none of these would have been achieved were it not for New Labour's hot air initiatives."
Hot air
"Hot air is a natural resource that can play an important part in reducing our dependence on oil, grease-proof or otherwise, and invasions of other nations," the former Eton fag said.
"For many years people have ignored hot air from politicians, but now we say it's time for voters to look at the Tories and they'll be able to see that not only do we have words, but have plenty of hot air to back up our new policies," he told a carefully managed press conference.
Cold water
Mr Cameron's shifting of the Conservative party onto environmental issues has marked a significant change in direction for the party after William Hague's "fuck Europe" election campaign.
However, Labour were quick to dismiss the latest shift as "yet another Labour policy stolen by the unimaginative Tories".
Long runs
John Prescott, took a break from no longer having an affair to say: "Ever since New Labour came to prominence in 1994 we have done nothing but promote hot air as a viable way to get a country running.
"Just look at our achievements - the Millennium Dome, integrated transport, an ethical foreign policy - none of these would have been achieved were it not for New Labour's hot air initiatives."
